In the beginning, there was chaos...
…..I’d gone from knowing where my little boy was to getting calls from childcare providers that he had been taken and there was nothing they could do. The police got involved but eventually indicated that social services would need to be told if we didnt pull our fingers out and sort the custody issues once and for all. This may be the hardest part of the new world you find yourself in, the total break from your routine, the thing you cling to without realising it until you turn around and it isnt there anymore and each day becomes a bigger struggle due to the uncertainty. I didnt know what I could and couldnt do and my emotions had hold of the wheel.
Looking back at this time from where I am now I wish I had had some practical support, something that would have given me a glimpse of the hopeful future I would eventually come back to, something to show me the way out.
I was lucky enough to find a fastastic lady who became my lawyer. The first thing she put right was advising me to change the locks on my home. I had been living with the problem that my ex could simply come in and out of our marital home at any time and found myself carting things around with me to protect my privacy. Ridiculous! But once again, I hadnt realised my right to privacy until someone looked at my situation from the outside. The peace that this one small thing gave me was immeasurable.
Here you will find everything you need to know when you suddenly find you share children with someone who doesnt live under the same roof as you anymore. From parental rights information, to practical support ideas, emotional and legal support. But perhaps more importantly a place where you can freely discuss with others what worked or didnt work for you, any problems you are dealing with that you just can’t see past, or simply to have 5 minutes with a cup of tea to chat with others living with the same difficulties. What I and so many others struggle with is the loneliness that comes with having to deal with the loss of a relationship whilst still soldiering on for the children. To have had a place where I could let that all out to work through it would have helped me see more clearly.
I am a firm believer in the fact that whilst strength often comes from within, there is no better feeling than knowing that at the darkest of times, we are not alone.